Heartbreak.

December arrived, and it was wonderful to be enjoying the season with my brother Bob, my sister-in-law Setsuko, and Pokey the black cat. We were excited about our upcoming drive to New York City for Christmas, where we would join all of Bob’s family in the Tribeca home of his eldest daughter, Sarah, her husband Tomer, and their two amazing girls, Ella and Alma. But life did not proceed as expected or desired.

Suddenly and without warning, Setsuko collapsed on the morning of Dec. 13^th, from an apparent heart attack. EMS arrived within minutes, but nothing was to be done. Some of you have experienced similar tragedies, and you understand there are no words for the earthquake of shock and grief that happens when your daily foundation drops out from under you. Setsuko was a lovely person, beautiful inside and out. Her grace and beauty hid an inner core of steel. A native of Kyoto, Japan, she blazed her own trail to travel and explore the world by becoming an international flight attendant. This was despite her parents’ wishes for her, in an era when women were expected to follow more traditional paths. Later, she attended Washington University and worked hard to achieve designation as a Missouri state-certified teacher of Japanese. She was dedicated to teaching the language in local schools, and she even took her students on exchange trips to Japan.

She was fighting Alzheimer’s dementia, but she was delightful to spend time with. Sometimes I could successfully converse with her, and other times we would simply share looks and gestures and giggles.

Despite the pain, we went on to New York, where we spent a heart-filled holiday together. Ella (9) and Alma (7), Bob and Setsuko’s granddaughters, provided great energy and cheer as they celebrated both Hanukkah and Christmas. Elaine (second daughter) and her Scottish husband, James, flew in from Rome, while Andrew (son) drove his new, completely outfitted Bronco in from Brooklyn. Though Setsuko’s absence was ever-present, it was good be together, sharing familiar holiday traditions.

Now January, the long cold gray time, is upon us. My brother is the exemplar of courage and resilience, determined to move forward. But time alone eases the heart, and no one gets a shortcut. I am grateful I to be able to spend time with him and to lend support in whatever small way I can.

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The Visa

VFS continued to be uncommunicative and confusing. (See the previous update.) After much effort in the middle of the night when the website traffic was slower, Gail from Relocate To Portugal scored an appointment for me at the VFS offices in Washington, DC.

At 8 AM on January 4^th, I entered the second-floor lobby on Vermont Street with all documents printed, stacked, paper clipped, and organized in order. I humbly followed every strict instruction from the large and slightly belligerent security woman and was escorted to the interview area. I exited 45 minutes later, relieved and excited to have cleared this hurdle. The interviewer reviewed and accepted my documents, and then inserted them into a heavy blue plastic envelope, sealing it with a printed bar code. It would proceed to Portugal for final evaluation by the Portuguese immigration authorities. Assuming all goes well, they will inform the Consulate in Washington DC of the approval within 4 to 6 weeks from the time of submission. I will be instructed to FedEx my passport to the Consulate, where they will stamp it and return it overnight. Voila, I will be welcomed back to live in Portugal!

Outside, it’s been abnormally warm Already the daffodils are pushing up, seeking sun and reminding me that a new season will come, at the right time.

To all of you, I hope your year is off to a smashing start. The days are already getting longer, and we are halfway through January. Especially to my Porto friends and others of you who are subjected to weeks of gloomy skies and bone-chilling rain, hang in there! As my brother Bob reminded me when we were talking about traveling in Scotland, only someone from that climate could have invented Scotch whisky. It’s an excellent antidote for these dark evenings.